It was very late. Donald Trump was fast asleep. The white gloved hands on his Marco Rubio wall clock pointed to 4 and 6. At that moment the ring tone of his cell phone sounded “Hail to The Chief.” “Hail to the Chief” is Donald Trump’s favorite song. But it is not his favorite song at 4:30 in the morning.
It was too early for Donald Trump to tweet so he decided to answer his phone.
“Who is this?” Donald answered angrily. Donald hoped that it was James Comey. Donald wanted James Comey to ask for his job back. It was not James Comey. But there was a lot of static. The static hurt Donald’s ear. The static made Donald even angrier. “Speak Up!” Donald yelled into the phone.
Finally, a voice came through his speaker: Yo Dotard! It’s me, RocketMan!
“What?” screamed Donald Trump. “How dare you wake me up at such an hour? You got no sense?”
Now, the voice was laughing. The voice was laughing at Donald Trump. Voices are not allowed to laugh at Donald Trump.
“Hey tard!” said the voice. “You not scare me. You not scare anyone.” The voice was Kim Jong Un, the North Korean Leader. Donald does not like RocketMan.
“Listen midget.” Growled Donald. You’re lucky I don’t have the football here in my bedroom. I’d have vaporized you by now – you little worm.”
“Who you think you kidding monkey-man? Said Kim Jong Un. My boys tell me General Mattis not let you a mile close to button. Besides, DoTard not remember code. Ha-ha! Speaking of worms, my buddy Dennis Rodman sitting here. He want to know why you not invite home boy, Steph Curry, to big White House party. What you got against basketball? You piss off NFL too. You a really big tard HaHa.”
Donald Trump suddenly had an idea. It was a very big idea. Donald Trump had an Idea that will make him even richer than he now is.
“Listen RocketMan” said Donald Trump. “I have decided not to vaporize you and your tiny little country. I’m going to build a wonderful, huge, Trump tower in Pyongyang. And, you’re going to run the front desk. I’d let you be concierge but you’re too short.”
“Haha! Too late MonkeyMan. Bebe Netanyahu just signed to put new hotel, ‘Sampson’s Hideaway’, down range from ICBM launch pad. Big party booked already – Iran Ayatollah throwing a big one for Putie to celebrate NFL moving to Pyongyang.”
Donald Trump was about to explode. “Who brokered this deal?” He asked Kim.
“Hm. Me think. Oh yes – nice young boy-san name Kushner. Speak good Chinese. Moving into Bebe’s hotel with NFL. Wife pretty hot too. HaHaHaHa!”